Love on the Mainframe: How AI Is Changing Online Dating

Valentine’s Day is upon us, marking the celebration of love and relationships, many of which are now found online. With 30% of U.S. adults reporting using dating sites and apps, hopeful romantics continue their search for their “one true love” en masse. But will they get a match made in heaven? Or will statistical models and algorithms keep them yearning for more?

Online dating has changed how people all over the world connect and find partners. Now, advancements in AI are revolutionizing how people meet, communicate, and form connections. While AI can be used to help people find “the one,” the widespread availability of AI tools has also introduced a myriad of risks and harms to people on dating apps and sites; from catfishing to bots, AI has made it easier than ever to both fall in love and have your heart broken.

Online dating has come a long way since the days of boring static profiles. Some of the first mentions of online dating date back to 1959, when computer scientists used a five ton computer to match couples, a process which took up to three weeks. In the early 2000s, eHarmony was among the first companies to develop and use a matching algorithm to pair users with compatible partners. Not long after, other companies started offering algorithmic matchmaking to users based on what they were looking for. Widespread use of AI has made matchmaking more instantaneous; with a swipe of your finger you can find people near and around your area with similar interests, strike up instant conversations, and form deep meaningful relationships without ever meeting IRL.

According to a 2022 study, three in ten adults have used dating apps in the U.S, many of whom reported troubles related to scams and harassment. Dating online can be difficult, especially with a large and competitive dating pool. Many users have turned to generative AI to give them an advantage, using tools like ChatGPT to improve their profiles, enhance images, and even write messages for them. Some companies, such as the now defunct Volar, have gone as far as developing avatars that date for you. Although this new way of online dating may make users think that their perfect match is just a button away, many people are still vulnerable to the risks and harms AI is posing to users.

One of the biggest pitfalls of online dating in the age of AI is its role in enabling catfishing. Catfishing is the act of setting up a fake online identity and using that identity to trick or scam people. With the help of AI, creating a fake profile is just a few clicks away. AI tools can be used to create synthetic media such as hyper-realistic images and deepfake video or audio. People have even created bots that look and talk like real people in order to scam users out of money. As if dating was not hard enough, users now have to navigate their romantic interactions with suspicion and distrust.

While AI is used to enable catfishing it can also be used to combat it. Companies such as Bumble have committed to combating catfishing through the use of verification processes. In 2024, Bumble published a case study exploring how they implemented PAI’s Synthetic Media Framework, a shared set of values, recommendations, and best practices to help builders of AI technology as well as creators and distributors of synthetic content utilize AI tools responsibly. The case study focuses on the Photo Verification process that Bumble developed in 2016 which uses AI to compare a user’s profile pictures with a selfie that the user is prompted to take and submit. Verification tools like these, which help ensure an actual person is behind a profile, can help companies keep users safe from catfishing.

Although companies are working hard to combat catfishing, synthetic content is increasingly harder to detect. That is why it is important for users to understand how they can stay safe while online dating.

Online dating is hard enough without having to worry about scammers. Here are some tips for staying safe:

• Look for generic profiles and unnaturally perfect photos.
• Verify someone is who they say they are with video calls, or in-person meetings.
• Reverse image search a user’s images to verify authenticity.
• Do not send user’s money or provide them with personal documents.
• If this love seems too good to be true, it probably is!

As AI continues to shape the world we live in, it also introduces new risks and harms that we must be wary of. This Valentine’s Day is not only a day to celebrate love and connection but also an opportunity to learn how to navigate the changing landscape of online dating in the age of AI. To stay up to date on our work in building responsible AI systems and policies sign up for our newsletter.